Tekken: Director's Cut
by NinjaBoyTellEm
Summary: DISCONTINUED! Tekken bloopers from T5 and T4. Enjoy. Chapter 2: King and Heihachi T4 endings and Raven T5 ending. Warning: OOC and content that could cause you to question Jin's sexuality
1. Scooby snacks and pedophiles

Tekken: Director's Cut

Tekken: Director's Cut

_Tekken 4: Honmaru scene (Jin had defeated Kazuya; Enter Heihachi)_

Heihachi: What a pathetic wretch. You worthless coward. I will make your power mine. Time to die, boy. Wait. Hold on.

Heihachi farts on Kazuya's unconscious face. That woke him up and pissed him off.

Kazuya: You goddamn motherfucker, I'm gonna gut you and feed you to the sharks.

Heihachi takes off running but trips over his feet. Kazuya drags Heihachi back into the camera's shot and starts to kick his ass.

Heihachi: AHHHH!! Mommy help me! AHHH!

Director: CUT! CUT! CUT!

_Cut to a Tekken 5 interlude between Paul and Law_

Law: Paul! Forrest was in an accident! I really need that prize money. You gotta let me win.

Paul: Marshall, I'm sorry buddy. I gotta prove I'm the toughest in the universe.

Law: Would you let me win if I gave you a Scooby snack?

Paul: What was that? I didn't hear you.

Law: Two Scooby snacks?

Paul: Hells yeah!

Director: CUT! Dammit!

_Cut to a fight between Jin and Jinpachi_

Jin: My name is Jin Kazama. Heir to the cursed blood.

Jinpachi: I see. This is why my blood is screaming to destroy you.

Jin: With what?

Jinpachi: My fists, you wisecracking ass fucker.

Jin: I don't know, you look like one of those Michael Jackson pedophiles, dude.

Jinpachi: AARRGH! CUT! I CANNOT WORK WITH THIS BLOCKHEAD!!

Jinpachi exits stage right.

Director: Where the fuck are you going?

Jinpachi: I'll be in my trailer, then I'll be back to kill my asshole of a great-grandson, who isn't great at all.

Director: I don't think that's what…

Jinpachi: SHUT UP!!

(Fades to Black)

**I gotta get out of the library now. Just read and review, k? Later.**


	2. Broken backs and homos? WHAT!

Disclaimer: The following characters in this chapter are not of my ownership but of Namco's ownership. I'm just a 16 year old who loves to write fics of Tekken. Understand? Ok then.

_TDC: Chapter 2_

_Tekken 5: Raven is leaving to return to headquarters_

Raven: Mission complete, returning to HQ.

Raven starts running, jumping up the elevated parts of the area while doing this. Finally, Raven performs a forward flip and goes out of sight. After a few seconds, Raven is shown on an airplane, crouching to keep his balance. Raven stands up and crosses his arms while the airplane flies away.

Raven: Man, I'm so cool.

About 3 seconds later, he falls off the plane.

Raven: AAHHHH!!

He plummets to the ground and lands on some of the jagged rocks.

Raven: Ah, man. I believe I broke my back again.

His back (more like his spine) makes crunching noises as he gets up. He can't even stand.

Raven: OHHH!! Goddamn!!

Director: AAARRRGH!! CUT!! Get some fucking EMTs out there. STAT!!

_Tekken 4: Heihachi and Kazuya go to Honmaru_

Heihachi and Kazuya enter Hon-Maru. They notice Jin Kazama chained up. Kazuya gasps.

Kazuya: Oh my god!! I could've had a V8!!

He slaps himself in the forehead. Immediately, two chains wrap around his arms. He gets suspended in mid-air like Jin is.

Kazuya: What the fuck, you old fart??

Heihachi: Did you think I'd be dumb enough to let you in here without a leash to tie you down? That chain has the ability to neutralize your powers. An individual saturated with the Devil Gene, such as yourself, will lose consciousness in a matter of minutes!

Jin starts to wake up.

Jin: Father?!

Kazuya: Shut up, worthless fruitcake son of mine. I can't believe I'm chained up next to you. Oh, by the way, Jun ain't dead, so drop the emo act before I break my foot off in your ass in the afterlife.

Jin: She's alive?! Yay!! And I'm not emo, asshole!!

Heihachi: You're in denial, and you're still a momma's boy. Be grateful that you two will die helping me achieve my goal. As a bonus, you will be fucked to death by my sex slaves.

Kazuya: Ah yes I remember those days when I was young. Thank you lord in heaven!!

The slaves enter. They all look hot as hell!! Kazuya has a huge grin on his face. Jin has a displeasing look on his face and groans.

Jin: God help me because I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

Kazuya looks at Jin with disgust.

Kazuya: What are you gay?

The director comes back from his break with coffee and donuts.

Director: What the fuck is going on here? CUT GODDAMN IT!!

_Tekken 4: Unexpected visit_

After King defeated Craig Marduk in The King of Iron Fist Tournament 4, King visited Craig in the hospital to kill him. King removed Marduk's oxygen mask and was about to punch him in the face until…

_King's thoughts: Why are you going to kill the bastard now? Don't get mad, get even._

King then instead pulled out a can of shaving cream and a permanent marker. He used the marker to write 'I suck' on Marduk's chest. He then rubbed shaving cream on Marduk's face and shaved whatever hair that was on Marduk's face. The last thing King did was sprayed some of the cream into Marduk's giant hand and tickled his face with a feather. Marduk smacked himself with the cream-filled hand.

That woke him up. King starts to roar with laughter.

Marduk: King you motherfucking piece of shit dicksucker, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!

He starts to choke King, who is trying to breathe and is still laughing.

King (choking): It was worth it.

Director: CUT!! SHIT!! I need a tranquilizer, now.

**There you have it another chapter complete. I'm still open to suggestions so Pm me, leave a review, or add me as a friend on my myspace. Later**


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